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"Sparkling and combustible" (Bloomberg Businessweek), "DISGRACED rubs all kinds of unexpected raw spots with intelligence and humor" (Newsday). "In dialogue that bristles with wit and intelligence, Akhtar puts contemporary attitudes toward religion under a microscope, revealing how tenuous self-image can be for people born into one way of being who have embraced another.... Everyone has been told that politics and religion are two subjects that should be off-limits at social gatherings. But watching these characters rip into these forbidden topics, there's no arguing that they make for ear-tickling good theater" (New York Times). "Add a liberal flow of alcohol and a couple of major secrets suddenly revealed, and you've got yourself one dangerous dinner party" (Associated Press).

• Sales Rank: #120435 in Books
• Published on: 2015-12-15
• Original language: English
• Dimensions: 7.50" h x 5.25" w x .25" l, .15 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 52 pages

Review
"The best play I saw last year.... [a] quick-witted and shattering drama.... DISGRACED rubs all kinds of unexpected raw spots with intelligence and humor." ---Linda Winer, Newsday

"A sparkling and combustible contemporary drama.... Ayad Akhtar's one-act play deftly mixes the political and personal, exploring race, freedom of speech, political correctness, even the essence of Islam and Judaism. The insidery references to the Hamptons and Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and art critic Jerry Saltz are just enough to make audience members feel smart.... Akhtar...has lots to say about America and the world today. He says it all compellingly, and none of it is comforting." ---Philip Boroff, Bloomberg Businessweek

"Compelling... DISGRACED raises and toys with provocative and nuanced ideas." ---Jesse Oxfeld, New York Observer

"A continuously engaging, vitally engaged play about thorny questions of identity and religion in the contemporary world.... In dialogue that bristles with wit and intelligence, Mr. Akhtar...puts contemporary attitudes toward religion under a microscope, revealing how tenuous self-image can be for people born into one way of being who have embraced another.... Everyone has been told that politics and religion are two subjects that should be off limits at social gatherings. But watching Mr. Akhtar's characters rip into these forbidden topics, there's no arguing that they make for ear-tickling good theater." ---Charles Isherwood, New York Times

"[A] blistering social drama about the racial prejudices that secretly persist in progressive cultural circles." ---Marilyn Stasio, Variety

"Terrific.... DISGRACED...unfolds with speed, energy and crackling wit.... The evening will come to a shocking end, but before that, there is the sparkling conversation, expertly rendered on the page by Akhtar.... Talk of 9/11, of Israel and Iran, of terrorism and airport security, all evokes uncomfortable truths. Add a liberal flow of alcohol and a couple of major secrets suddenly revealed, and you've got yourself one dangerous dinner party..... In the end, one can debate what the message of the play really is. Is it that we cannot escape our roots, or perhaps simply that we don't ever really know who we are, deep down, until something forces us to confront it? Whatever it is, when you finally hear the word 'disgraced' in the words of one of these characters, you will no doubt feel a chill down your spine." ---Jocelyn Noveck, AP

"Offers an engaging snapshot of the challenge for upwardly mobile Islamic Americans in the post-9/11 age." ---Thom Geier, Entertainment Weekly

"Akhtar digs deep to confront uncomfortable truths about the ways we look at race, culture, class, religion, and sex in this bracingly adult, unflinching drama... [He] writes incisive, often quite funny dialogue and creates vivid characters, managing to cover a lot of ground in a mere four scenes and 80 minutes. Akhtar doesn't offer any solutions to the thorny issues he presents so effectively. What he does is require us to engage them, and that's a very good and necessary thing." ---Erik Haagensen, Backstage.com

"DISGRACED stands among recent marks of an increasing and welcome phenomenon: the arrival of South Asian and Middle Eastern Americans as presences in our theater's dramatis personae, matching their presence in our daily life. Like all such phenomena, it carries a double significance. An achievement and a sign of recognition for those it represents, for the rest of us it constitutes the theatrical equivalent of getting to know the new neighbors-something we had better do if we plan to survive as a civil society." ---Michael Feingold, The Village Voice

"Skillfully adopts the well-worn dramatic device of the imploding dinner party to scratch beneath the surface of multicultural harmony.... Smart, spiky entertainment.... A stimulating, sobering work from a distinctive new American playwright."―David Rooney, Hollywood Reporter

About the Author
Ayad Akhtar is a screenwriter, playwright, actor, and novelist. He is the author of the novel American Dervish and was nominated for a 2006 Independent Spirit Award for best screenplay for the film The War Within. Disgraced was produced at New York's Lincoln Center Theater in 2012 and was awarded the 2013 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Akhtar lives in New York City.

Most helpful customer reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful thought provoking play.
By muddyboy1
This is a contemporary play shows modern day Americans trying to come to grips with differences in cultural and religious perspectives. The characters interact both in familial and workplace relationships. The central characters are Christian, Muslim and Jewish. It is written with sensitivity and respect with no hint of bias showing just how difficult it sometimes is to see things from another person's point of view. There is a reason that this play won the Pulitzer Prize as it really challenges us to think. I would definitely recommend this fine piece of literature for those who truly want to read something you will continue to ponder long after the final page is read.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Explosive. Jarring. Uncomfortable. Astonishing.
By Christian Engler
Ayad Akhtar’s 90-minute one-act Pulitzer Prize-winning drama is one of those rare theatrical works that can leave a reader rather immobile when in the midst of processing the combustible nature of it. In the background of your mind, you think to yourself, Is he sincerely going to go down that road and say publicly what you and everybody else might be thinking but are too polite to mention in casual conversation? And then, he does. Then, a volatile awkwardness ensues, and you have to take a breather to get a second wind for the next spitfire dosage.

The play involves lawyer Amir Kapoor, a disavowed Muslim raised American, who, for the sake of his career, glosses over and dismisses the traditions and values of his Muslim heritage. By doing so, he feels that that he will not be intimately connected with the primitive and zealous back woods fanaticism of extremists, despite that there are kernels of appreciation that he has for his roots. Yet, his wife, Emily, a burgeoning art celebrity who uses Muslim themed elements in her artwork values the Muslim tapestry, traditional and otherwise, that her husband, Amir, shuns. Before and during an important dinner party for Emily’s Jewish art dealer and agent named Isaac and his wife Jory who happens to be Amir’s lawyerly coworker, Amir and Emily discuss a controversal case which might involve religious discrimination of an Imam, a Muslim holy figure who seems to wield some influence over Abe, Amir’s Americanized nephew. After being mentioned in a write-up in the prestigious New York Times as a possible unofficial supporter and or helper of the defendant in question, Amir begins to quake at how it might make him look if he’s associated with an iman who supposedly financially supported terrorist related groups. The charges, too, may be trumped-up and falsified because of politics, ignorance and cultural insensitivity, and this, too ignites Amir’s ire, which lies just beneath the surface. He is between a rock and a hard place. And when the flood gates open, they open wide indeed with an outpouring of venomous dialog that can churn the discomfort level to the extreme, especially so when Isaac and Amir begin to politely “converse.”

Disgraced is appropriately titled, because, by the end of the play, that is exactly what happens to all the characters. They become disgraced, though the disgrace factor varies for each one. Some carry more weight than others, and Amir seems to be the biggest loser in this jolting, vitriolic post 9-11 peep into the judgmental conflict between cultures, politics and ethnic groups. All five characters are changed in ways that they never thought they would be. New enlightenments are unpleasantly gleaned because of the teaspoon of vinegar that they must all be forced to drink. This was a great and surprising play that was very worthy of the Pulitzer Prize.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Never read anything like it!
By N. Khan
Wow, this is a must-read! The play really gets into that ambivalent space where MANY Muslims live, but we are NOT represented in mainstream media. It's funny, smart, controversial, & VERY thought-provoking!

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[O709.Ebook] Get Free Ebook HOW TO EARN $100,000 AS A PRODUCT DEMONSTRATOR AKA( PITCHMAN), by John Milton Lawrence

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• Sales Rank: #633969 in eBooks
• Published on: 2011-09-10
• Released on: 2011-09-10
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Will light your sales on fire
By Moshe S
Very good brief history of how the the industry came to be. Loved the story of how the author watched the owner of his particular company demonstrate a product and then learned plenty of great presentation tactics from his relationship with the owner. My FAVORITE Chapter was the one on sales tips. Learned a lot from it. If there was any con, I'd say I wish the book would have a few pages dedicate to how to get your large audience to come in closer to you. As the closer they come, the more money you'll make

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[W845.Ebook] Download Ebook Go Crochet! Afghan Design Workbook: 50 Motifs, 10 Projects, 1 of a Kind Results, by Ellen Gormley

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"Go Crochet! Afghan Design Workbook" gives readers everything they need to make beautiful afghans any time (and any place) they desire. Readers first learn the tools and materials they'll need, along with basic crochet techniques. Next, they are presented with 50 mix-and-match crochet motifs in a wide variety of shapes with skill levels ranging from beginner to advanced. All crochet patterns are available in both graph/symbol and text form. Following the motifs, 10 afghan patterns shows readers how to achieve a variety of effects with a single motif, 2-3 motifs and finally multiple motifs, for a fun patchwork appearance. Last, the reader learns how to take the motifs and plan their own unique afghans.

• Sales Rank: #1098098 in Books
• Published on: 2011-05-24
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 10.00" h x .65" w x 8.00" l, 1.55 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover-spiral
• 128 pages

About the Author

Ellen Gormley is a well-published crochet designer. She has been designing since 2004 and has had approximately 80 projects featured by magazines and yarn companies including Crochet Today and Interweave Crochet. Ellen was nominated for several categories for the 2009 Crochet Awards and came in first in the Best Designer, Home D�cor category.

Most helpful customer reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful.
Can't wait to get creative!
By Kathy
I heard about this book from the Getting Loopy podcast, and I immediately ran here to Amazon to order my copy.

I love making afghans, and I've been looking for some ways to get creative (outside of the granny square box). I received my copy last night and eagerly went through every single motif and flagged probably 75% of them as "urgent to-dos."

Now a brief review: The book is beautiful for starters, the glossy look and feel of the cover is great, and then opening it up you're greeted with a spiral bound book that lays flat when opened! What a dream! The pictures of each motif are fantastic, up-close and personal, and the instructions and diagrams are easy to follow. The Afghan designs are beautiful too, I may start with one of those before branching out in my own mix-and-match adventures.

What I LOVE about this book:
1) With each motif Ellen includes several mix-and-match options of other motifs in the book that would couple well.
2) The extensive "encyclopedia" of knowledge at the beginning of this book is great. I'm still relatively new to crochet and really yarn arts in general, and even since last night, I've learned so much more about different crochet stitches, and even yarn types!
3) My absolute favorite part of this book is that at the beginning of each set of motifs, Ellen includes some layout ideas for the motifs of that shape. This is brilliant, especially for me (a complete novice at designing afghans) because I would have struggled to come up with interesting layouts on my own.

Thank you Ellen for a fabulous book!

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
not paperback
By Amazon Customer
Just got it! It's not paperback! It has hard covers! And the inside is SPIRAL bound! Wonderful! It lays flat while you're using it! I'm just a beginner, so the drawings are valuable to me. I'm loving the whole variety/ mix and match theme. Only problem is chosing which to do first!

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Great motif book with tips for crocheters who want to personalize their afghan projects
By Underground Crafter
Go Crochet! Afghan Design Workbook is a really fun book. It is a great introduction to personalizing your own crocheted afghans and also features 50 different motifs and 10 projects.

The book is organized into three sections:

Ready...Set...Go Crochet!,
Motifs to Go, and
Afghans to Go.

There is also an appendix which provides information on yarn weights, hooks, and crochet terms which including comparisons between the US and UK terminology.

Ready...Set...Go Crochet! has a nice introduction to supplies including things like digital cameras and blocking boards which aren't on the standard list of tools included in most crochet books. It also reviews pattern abbreviations and international stitch symbols. There are a few pages explaining the stitches used in the book, complete with instructions and diagrams. This includes the basic stitches (sc, dc, etc.) as well as clusters, popcorns, and several types of decreases.

My favorite part here is the six pages devoted to "Creating Your Own Designs," where Ellen talks about pattern modification, color, layout, and assembly.

As someone who teaches a lot of beginners, I really enjoy the conversational tone Ellen uses as well as the information she shares. She anticipates a lot of the questions that beginners or those who are just becoming intermediates have about yarn, terms, etc.

Motifs to Go includes ten designs each in squares, rectangles, triangles, hexagons, and octagons. Each motif includes a small introduction about the pattern or colors by Ellen. The colors are vibrant and the pictures represent the blocks well. I particularly like that each motif includes five potential "Mix and Match" partners - especially since the partners are not always the same shape!

Before the patterns for the motifs of a particular shape, Ellen has a page which discusses - and illustrates - different potential layouts for blankets using that shape. This is one aspect of the book that I think really separates it from other similar books. For example, in Beyond the Square: Crochet Motifs: 144 Circles, Hexagons, Triangles, Squares, and Other Unexpected Shapes, you would find more motifs and equally great information about color and various techniques. However, if you were trying to piece together an afghan from the different shapes, you would suddenly be presented with watercolors, which might make it tough for you to visualize a final project if you are a relative beginner.

The final section has ten afghans using great color combos and different joining techniques to bring the patterns to life.

This isn't a book where all the motifs will end up the same size or are easy to combine together - the All Call pattern, which includes every motif in the book, looks like it was a struggle to bring together! If you are looking for a book like that, there are others on the market. I definitely recommend Go Crochet! Afghan Design Workbook to anyone looking for another crochet motif book to add to their collection, to crocheters who want to branch out from following patterns completely to modifying patterns to personalize their finished projects, and to anyone who enjoys crocheting afghans. In addition to all the content I've mentioned, the book is spiral-bound so you can lay it flat when working on a project, it includes a section on conversions from US to UK terms, there are both pattern abbreviations and stitch diagrams, and the motifs and blankets are beautifully photographed.

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[H893.Ebook] Fee Download Libgdx Cross-platform Game Development Cookbook, by David Saltares Marquez, Alberto Cejas Sanchez

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Over 75 practical recipes to help you master cross-platform 2D game development using the powerful Libgdx frameworkAbout This Book

• Gain an in-depth understanding of every Libgdx subsystem, including 2D graphics, input, audio, file extensions, and third-party libraries
• Write once and deploy to Windows, Linux, Mac, Android, iOS, and browsers
• Full of uniquely structured recipes that help you get the most out of Libgdx

Who This Book Is For

If you want to make cross-platform games without the hassle and dangers of writing platform-specific code, or If you are a game programmer who may have some experience with Java and you want to learn everything you need to know about Libgdx to produce awesome work, this is the book for you.

To take full advantage of the recipes in this book, you are expected to be familiar with java with good game programming knowledge.

What You Will Learn

• Wield the power of the 2D graphics API; get to grips with textures, atlases, particles, fonts, and shaders
• Manage input from different devices, including touch, keyboard, mouse, gamepad, and accelerometer
• Increase player immersion with the Libgdx audio API
• Quickly design maps with an editor and load them directly into your game
• Exploit the 2D stage features to build great user interfaces
• Create amazing physics simulations with Box2D
• Master the deployment process and reach a wide audience

In Detail

Libgdx is a very popular open source, cross-platform, Java-based game development framework that enables you to write your code once and deploy it to Windows, Mac, Linux, Android, iOS, and browsers.

Supported by code samples for each topic, this book will take you through the features of Libgdx, from the very basic aspects to the most advanced ones. Beginning with an overview of the framework and project creation, the book moves on to the 2D graphics API that enables you to create efficient and visually rich games. You will then explore input detection and audio and file handling, followed by details of how to make use of amazing features such as Box2D rigid body physics, lighting, and artifical intelligence techniques to name a few. You will also discover how to modify Libgdx to suit your needs and share your creation with the world.

• Sales Rank: #401177 in Books
• Published on: 2014-10-29
• Released on: 2014-10-29
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x 1.17" w x 7.50" l, 1.93 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 516 pages

About the Author

David Saltares Marquez

David Saltares Marquez is a C++ software developer at a top-tier financial data company. He was an Artificial Intelligence programmer at Crytek, UK, for two years, where he developed emergent systems for Homefront: The Revolution. He then moved to Sony Computer Entertainment Europe to work on multimedia applications for PlayStation 4. He is part of the Libgdx core team, works on small indie games in his spare time, loves game jams, and often delivers presentations at universities. Find out more about his work on his personal blog at http://siondream.com.

Alberto Cejas Sanchez

Alberto Cejas Sanchez is an indie game programming enthusiast who graduated with an MSc in Computer Science and whose work revolves around games and simulations across 2D/3D technologies with different target platforms. He has also worked on automatic game code generation tools.

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
For experienced coders
By iPaul
Good book if you already have some experience with Libgdx or other game engine . This is not a beginner book!

The book will teach you how to work with sprites, process user input, audio, text rendering, 2D physics etc ... in a cookbook like manner, meaning that you know what you want to do (from your previous experience with other game engines or your own) but you need a quick introduction in how to do it with Libgdx.

In short, this is a book aimed at the intermediate to advanced game programmers.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
How to start a one man army game development? This book explains it.
By Krasimir
First I should mention that it took me a while to decide whether I should start using AndEngine or Libgdx. After serious research my conclusions were that Libgdx is the better option. The reasons are that it’s still being updated and code testing is much faster. At this point the learning resources for Libgdx are basically two – the tutorials on their website and this book. Currently there is only one book more which is said to be outdated.

As a beginner I decided to start learning from the book first because books tend to have some structure. And I must say that the book is indeed very well structured and there are a lot of useful details. At first I was expecting to have some problems with comprehending the material but the authors did a very good job in explaining with layman’s terms. If I have to be honest - you can actually feel the amount of work spent on this book.

While going through this book, I learned how to work with Libgdx’s 2D API and create complex 2D effects such as particles, shaders, etc. Now I also know how to set up nice background music in my game and how to create a good looking text. There is a lot of material covered on the topic of optimisation which is crucial for smooth running on phones. I think that the tip of the iceberg is the chapter about third-party libraries and extras. It is very useful because it covers the most popular “goodies” used with Libgdx. This includes – multilingual support, skeleton animation, lighting and software architecture.

This book is truly a “game development cookbook” because it explains everything needed to build a professionally looking game. I would like to thank the whole team and especially the authors for their amazing work. I recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Great "Cook Book"
By Joseph White
This "Cook book" is exactly what I was looking for. Many of the online tuts don't give as much detail as this book does and it certainly comes in handy. Unfortunately, like most Java implementations, there is a lot of code to write to do simple things but that's not the fault of the books author.

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[Z965.Ebook] Ebook Download The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce, by Rachel Sussman

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Breakups are an unfortunate but inevitable part of every woman’s life, and there’s no denying that the heartache experienced after the ending of a serious relationship can be excruciating. But it doesn’t have to feel insurmountable, and there is always hope to be found.
�
In The Breakup Bible, psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel Sussman reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she’s conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven 3-phase process for healing from a breakup. The Breakup Bible takes women through Healing, Understanding, and Transformation, with new perspectives and advice from real, healed women at each step. Sussman’s plan for getting over the end of a relationship is revolutionary and sound, complete with steps for creating a personalized Love Map, a vital and groundbreaking tool for moving on after a breakup.
�
The Breakup Bible proves that it is possible to not only survive a breakup, but to emerge from one as an even stronger, empowered woman.

• Sales Rank: #31011 in Books
• Brand: Unknown
• Published on: 2011-12-27
• Released on: 2011-12-27
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.20" h x .70" w x 6.00" l, .81 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 352 pages

Features

• The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce

Review
“It’s not the Bible you swear on, but many an ex-wife may find herself swearing by�The Breakup Bible.”—�Chicago Tribune

“Must-read advice for those going through a breakup or divorce.”—�YourTango.com

"The Breakup Bible is here to get you back on your feet." --You Beauty.com

"[Sussman's] book shows that it’s not only possible to survive a breakup, but that you can emerge even stronger and empowered.”�--�genConnect.com

About the Author
Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, writer, and lecturer. As the founder of Sussman Counseling, a psychotherapy practice devoted to treating couples and individuals with relationship dilemmas, Sussman has counseled patients in all phases of dating, marriage, and breakups for over a decade. Ms. Sussman lives in New York City with her husband and daughter. Visit her online at www.rachelasussman.com.

Excerpt. � Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
1

A Room of One’s Own

Finding Comfort in the Early Stages of Grief



“The first months after our breakup are still a blur to me. I was in terrible shape. I could barely get out of bed. I missed work. I was in shock at first. I kept thinking that it was a huge mistake, and he would come to his senses and come back to me. When he didn’t, I was completely devastated. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I was an absolute wreck. It was an awful moment in time, but it’s way behind me now.”--Gia



A Window into Your Soul--Assessing the Damage

The breaking apart of a romantic relationship is an extraordinarily painful event, whether you’ve been dating for a year or married for thirty. Even if you initiated your split, you are going to be overcome with interminable sorrow. You are not only mourning the loss of someone significant in your life, but saying farewell to your dreams of an eternity together.

The first weeks and months tend to be the most treacherous in the road to recovery. Pervasive grief invades your existence. You question everything, including your self-worth, your choices, your career, your friendships--everything. Numerous thoughts, feelings, and emotions run through your brain. The majority of the women I interviewed had at least half of the following experiences:



* You’re in shock--unable to comprehend why your relationship ended, or feeling as if it can’t be happening to you. You feel devoid of feelings, numb and detached.

* You wonder if you can ever trust again, if the pain will ever subside, and if you will ever feel joy or happiness again.

* Depression and despondency permeate your body and soul. You feel hopeless, helpless, unable to cope. Your self-esteem is shot. You have lost your ability to concentrate and feel ill equipped to make decisions.

* You have anxiety and anxiety attacks as early stage symptoms. You feel paralyzed with fear and dread, unable to sit still. You tremble and shake, have heart palpitations and trouble breathing.

* You understand intellectually that your relationship is over, but you cannot accept it emotionally. Some days you are convinced you can salvage it, or that in time your partner will return.

* You are unable to control your emotions. You can’t contain yourself. You cry or rant constantly and call friends obsessively.

* You feel embarrassed that your relationship ended. You’re ashamed to tell anyone and you feel humiliated.

* You contact your ex repetitively via phone, e‑mails, texts, or Facebook. Or you may find yourself glued to your telephone, waiting for it to ring.

* If you are ending a marriage, you have the lengthy process of divorce to consider. You feel incredibly overwhelmed thinking about what you’ll do and how to divide the life you and your ex have accrued.

* You are obsessed about your breakup. These thoughts intrude most of your day, and you dream about your ex at night. You re-create and dissect the last moments, weeks, and months, again and again. The final conversation loops through your brain repetitively.

* If you have children, you worry about how they will handle the separation and feel guilt ridden that you have imposed psychological damage on them. You feel too inundated to deal with parenting.

* You are filled with self-blame, self-loathing, doubt, and regret. You’re convinced that you blew it. You think, “If I were only a better partner. If I were more loving, giving, attentive. If I only did this better. If only . . . ”

* You are filled with rage. You have huge, uncontrollable outbursts of anger.

* If your ex supported you, or carried part of your financial load, you are frightened about finances.

* If your relationship ended over your partner’s affair, your healing is even more complicated. You feel completely betrayed, blindsided, shaken, and shocked. Your sense of justice, order, and good in the world has evaporated.

* You think that your final ship has sailed. Time is running out. You wonder if you’ll ever meet someone again, if you’ll be able to bear children.

* You have trouble eating and sleeping. Weight loss and insomnia are quite common after a breakup. Or you eat too much and sleep excessively.

* You feel unlucky, victimized, as if nothing ever works out quite right for you. You’re steeped in self-pity.

* You feel completely overwhelmed and “out of sorts.” Food shopping, caring for your home, and washing your clothes seem like insurmountable tasks. Or, perhaps you have unending, manic energy. You’ve refolded every item in your closet and can’t stop cleaning.

* You may be filling up every single waking moment with plans, or sitting at home, completely isolated.



The Importance of Validating Your Feelings

Perhaps you recognize yourself in some of these statements. Or possibly you have experienced them all. Every single declaration represents the normal range of emotions that we experience after a separation. The first step that you must do on the road to recovery is to validate each emotion you are feeling as natural.

Let me take this opportunity to offer you my sincerest condolences over the sorrow that has befallen you. Breaking up is so incredibly difficult. What could possibly prepare you for this monumental heartache? I know it can feel all encompassing and very scary. I’ve been there, and so have millions of others.

You are now officially submerged in the early stages of breakup grief. Life has become a daily barrage of emotionally charged thoughts and feelings--uncharted territory for most. Many discuss feeling absolutely insane as they observe their moods swinging wildly back and forth like an out-of-whack pendulum. You are entering a whole new and frightening world. You are feeling and thinking things that are quite foreign to you.

It’s very important to take the time to validate your feelings. It will allow you to see that you are right where you should be, which will help to ease the anguish you are experiencing.

Unfortunately, the validation you crave rarely comes from your ex, which can be extremely upsetting. We go through all sorts of machinations to try to get our partners to take responsibility, yet only a few do. And often friends and family members, although well meaning, cannot fully understand the gravity of your situation, which can be equally frustrating. The absence of having your experience acknowledged can make you feel even more alone. If you haven’t found a way to validate yourself, it’s important that you do so right now using this book and my words to enhance your healing. Please remember, you are allowed to feel what you feel. This is your essential right. It is OK that you feel miserable and it is absolutely necessary that you accept your grief. Validating yourself and feeling your feelings is a vital part of the healing process.



Taking Time to Grieve: Making Peace with Your Discomfort

“The first few months after my marriage ended were just horrific. I was extremely devastated yet kind of numb. After that, the tears came. Rivers upon rivers of tears. Sadness of such depth, like I’d never experienced before. I hated the way I felt and went through all sorts of motions to try to escape. I finally realized that I needed to stop running and find a safe place to work with my emotions. Finding that place helped me survive.”--Helene

“Immediately after my breakup I scheduled myself 24/7. I ran myself ragged trying to avoid my pain. That was a mistake and made me feel pretty depleted. Finally I slowed down, and that’s when I started feeling better. I realized I needed time to grieve, time to clarify my situation. You must leave time for reflection--it’s extremely important and very worthwhile.”--Abby



In order to survive the early stages after a breakup, you have to make peace with your sorrow, and accept the realization that it’s going to stick around for a while. I understand that the idea of patience and gradual healing is counterintuitive to most. Unless you are a naturally patient person (and most of us, including me, are not), practicing the art of tolerance is no easy feat. Our natural inclination toward suffering is to press the fast-forward button and get out of the experience as quickly as possible. But bucking up against how you are feeling right now will accomplish little. In fact it can backfire and make you feel even worse than you already do. It is important to try to master patience, and to realize that there are many valuable lessons for you to learn at this juncture. Your journey will be much more comfortable if you reconcile the fact that healing takes time and there are no shortcuts.

Often women in the early stages after a breakup or divorce say, “When will I feel better?” “Why aren’t I feeling better?” “I hate feeling this way!”

These statements are completely valid. Does anyone ever enjoy suffering? Of course not. It’s extremely uncomfortable. It is a good thing to eliminate unnecessary suffering, but breakup suffering is necessary--it’s an important step on the road toward healing, understanding, and transformation.

Consider a spiritual response to suffering. According to the ancient Buddhist teachings, the way to end suffering is to follow a gradual path of self-improvement and enlightenment. Suffering will disappear when progress is made on the path. I think this philosophical approach makes a great deal of sense, and in time, you will too.

Although the heartache can feel insurmountable, I promise you that if you do the work to process the ending of your relationship correctly, over time, you will recover fully. Together we will navigate this rocky terrain and find healthy outlets for your pain. We will clarify your emotions, figure out why your relationship ended, gather useful tools, and crawl out of the hole. Although it may sound inconceivable today, it is highly probable that you will become your best possible self, healthier and happier than you could ever imagine.



Taking Care of Yourself

Most of us are not comfortable with the notion of taking care of ourselves. Women are hardwired to care for others before thinking of ourselves. Recently I attended a dear friend’s milestone birthday celebration, which was for women only. During dinner the conversation turned to summer plans, and one woman announced that she was visiting a spa with her family. I commented that I thought it was a lovely idea and perhaps I would visit a spa in the future--on my own. A woman sitting next to me, whom I barely knew, replied, “Oh, you’ll never go!” Her comment intrigued me. She didn’t know me, yet she was predicting that I wouldn’t do what I just said I would. “Why would you say that?” I inquired. “Because you’re a woman. You put your family first, you put your job first, you put everything ahead of taking care of yourself. This is what I do too. This is what we all do!”

Her words startled me, yet they were true. We are caregivers as opposed to caretakers, and there is a greater percentage of women than men in our country caring for children, spouses, and parents. We are programmed to go, go, go--putting the needs of our family, friends, and lovers way ahead of our own. In fact, many of us measure our self-worth by this selfless behavior.

I’m asking you to break the mold and find a way to put yourself first. To take care of yourself. To take your own nurturing seriously, even though it may initially feel very strange. Mark it off on your calendar and pick a time for a daily meeting with yourself--a daily comfort session. This is a gift to yourself that you deserve.



Creating a Comfort Zone

“After my divorce when I was very down, a friend suggested I find a photograph of myself at the happiest moment of my life, frame it, and put it someplace where I’d see it every day. My husband had just moved out and I decided to fix up my bedroom to be a sort of shrine to myself. I looked at this photo daily and remembered who I was when I was a happy person. Remind yourself that you can be that person again--you will be that person again. This worked for me and it can work for you.”--Roberta

“The concept of taking care of myself was very new to me. I had to remind myself each day that it was my mission to allow myself to grieve. I turned my bedroom into a sanctuary. I immediately bought new bedding as a symbolic act--out with the old, in with the new. I didn’t want any reminders of my ex. I used that room to relax, stay calm, sort through my feelings, and journal. I created a comfortable place where I could feel secure.”--Sabrina



What I’d like you to do now is create “a room of your own.” This room will be a safety zone while you pass through this complicated yet necessary stage in the healing process. Trust me, it will be incredibly beneficial to you: a secure place, complete with your imprint, where you can go to grieve on your own terms. Perhaps there is a place in your home--even a quiet corner of a room will do--that you can designate as your special place to experience comfort while mourning your loss. It doesn’t matter which room you choose, but it must be someplace where you can create a sense of peace, harmony, and security.

I suggest using your bedroom, as I do when I need a serene place to escape to. Here are some ideas on how to create a calming atmosphere:



* Burn aromatic candles or incense.

* Use good mood lighting.

* Get some stunning accent pillows.

* Purchase some new bedding (especially if your ex slept in your bed). Many women I spoke with describe this as a must-do!

* Play soft and soothing music.

* Buy a white noise machine to mask unwanted sounds.

* Add some beautiful flowers or plants.

* Give the room a mini makeover--relocate furniture, repaint the walls, and consider new window treatments, paintings, photographs, or posters.



Once you have this room set up, find some time each day to spend there, basking in this newly created comfort. Many women report that while in their special place they take time to journal, read spiritual or motivational books, meditate, or watch movies. You can also do any hobbies you enjoy in this sanctuary.

Most helpful customer reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Perfect book for coping with break up/divorce
By Emily Meehan
I gave this book to a friend who was going through a painful divorce. She told me that she kept wishing for some kind of instruction manual for how to cope with the feelings and thoughts she had during this difficult time in her life and that The Breakup Bible was exactly what she needed. I read it myself and found it helped me talk to her about everything. I recommend this to anyone helping a friend through a painful break up or divorce, or for anyone going through it herself.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Yes, You CAN Understand and Recover!
By E. T.
After the painful demise of a long relationship, I went through many books—bound and ebooks both—along with numerous websites and youtube talks. I did all the recommended things, like "no contact" and getting rid of reminders of my ex around my home. I worked hard at recovering, yet months after the breakup, I was still having a terrible time moving forward and I felt stuck in a state of despair and depression. Finally, completely by chance, I heard about "The Breakup Bible" and ordered it. It has been the greatest help ever and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Now I know why my ex and I broke up, and also why I have had such a hard time recovering from the breakup. I am still rereading parts of the book, primarily Part II, the section on Understanding, and this is the information that is changing my life. In fact, I am going to pursue more understanding of "attachment theory," as it relates to me, with a therapist versed in the theory, because it rang so true for me. I realized that every partner I have ever picked has had a version of the same issue, clear back to my first (and only) marriage. It wasn't apparent to me until now, because each version was so different (there are many, many ways to abandon someone, including things like the silent treatment, getting drunk, and actually walking out, to name a few). I don't want to repeat my lifelong selection of partners ever again, and I am grateful to have finally gotten some real and useful information, instead of all the fluff that is floating around.

I found the book to be well written and easy to read, and it was also somehow comforting and gentle while presenting hard truths. I believe it will help you whether you had a breakup or a divorce, and whether you have children or not. Good luck to you!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
The Breakup Bible has become my daily companion
By Irina Firstein
I feel so fortunate to have come upon Rachel Sussman's " The Break Up Bible" in searching for guidance with a recent break up. This book is a step-by-step guide to recovery and transformation after the demise of a romantic relationship. It is clearly written, well organized, insightful, compassionate and is my daily companion as I go through this painful process.
Having looked at other books on the market, I respectfully disagree with Jazzgirl's review and negative comparison with Susan Elliot's book. The Breaupk Bible is down to earth, totally common sensical, encouraging and optimistic. It's given me hope for my future and understanding of where I have been and where I am going.
Thank You, Rachel Sussman!

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